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Jeremy Kyle

from Bishops Itchington by Uke's Not Dead

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lyrics

I drank a litre of vodka every night for a week. I fell asleep in the gutter, just so I can hear you speak. I cheated on my wives and girlfriends and trust me there have been a few. I did all this to feed my addiction. I did all this just for you.

Jeremy Kyle, you've got a hold on me. A hold that won't let go. Now I'm finally f***** up enough to feature on your show. If you think I've been dishonest in this love that I've confessed, we can do a lie detector test.

I crave your merciless anger. I crave your sympathetic touch. The subhuman scum under the spotless fuels the hatred that I love so much.

Jeremy Kyle, I would do anything to be there on your stage, while you put me in my place with your trademark violent rage. Your belligerence will cure all of the problems that I have and we'll also entertain some chavs.

Jeremy Kyle, there aint a drug I wouldn't use to get a fix and then call 09011 it's 123456 and I'll father illegitimate children along the way so you'll shout at me then test my DNA.

Jeremy Kyle, I'm going to be with you some day.

credits

from Bishops Itchington, released December 16, 2011
Ukulele, vocals, bass: Steve Grainger
Backing vocals, percussion: Alex Caithness

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about

Uke's Not Dead Birmingham, UK

A folk punk comedy trio from the Midlands, consisting of
Steve - Ukulele and Vocals,
Alex - Bass and Vocals,
Ben - Box, triangle, other percussive geometry

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