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Oi Kid! Don't be a Hoody!

from Bishops Itchington by Uke's Not Dead

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lyrics

Oi, Kid! Don't be a hoody! Don't be a baddy like them, be a goody! Study! I aint no fuddy-duddy! Listen buddy! Life could get bloody! I'm warning you not to take the wrong path, so clean up your act, give your act a bath. And Make sure your scrubbing its pits and its faces, behind its ears and its hard to reach places. Obey the rules! Go to schools! Don't hang out with thugs and fools and hooligans. It aint no funs: Pimps and hoes and drugs and guns. Listen to meez! GCSE's! A-levels and universities! Cos doctors, inventors, heroes, mentors don't hang about in shopping centres.

Don't be a hoody tonight. It aint cool being a hoody, let's just make that understoody. Stay in school and things will be alright. You don't need skanky bitches, all you need is lots of teachers. Children are our future, but the hoodies want to shoot ya. Don't be a hoody tonight.

Peer pressure is going to get ya! Soon the police will be out to fetch ya! It's advice, it aint no lecture. This stuff may one day affect ya. Listen to these words I've sang. Don't choose to hang with a hoody gang. And don't use drugs, but use a condom. Don't speak like you're from South London, 'cause it doesn't fit you son. You live in Bishops Itchington. So speak correctly, pronounce perfectly, not layzeee sketcheee don't yooouuuzz getsss mee? Lay off the crack and the dope and the speed, the drugs and the drugs and the drugs and the weed. It's 'I' before 'E', accept that from me. And learn what they teaches you in P.S.E

Don't be a hoody, my friend. Don't go down that way, being a hoody is proper gay. Be a genius, not a bell end. The future's in your noggin, not behind the bike sheds snoggin'. Our most precious of resources get straight A's in all their courses. Don't be a hoody, my friend.

And don't for goodness sake do anything you shouldn't do, like sniffing dirty drugs with the Bishops Itchington crew. And don't even think of having sex before you are 16 and only then with a condom and a letter of consent, should you even dream of taking off your tracksuit to expose your little woody and poking it somewhere that might produce another hoody.

Don't be a hoody you f****** t***. You'll never be a prefect with an attitude like that.

Don't be a hoody tonight.
Don't be a hoody, you nob.

credits

from Bishops Itchington, released December 16, 2011
Vocals, ukulele - Steve Grainger
Backing Vocals - Sam Moloney
Synth - Alex Caithness

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about

Uke's Not Dead Birmingham, UK

A folk punk comedy trio from the Midlands, consisting of
Steve - Ukulele and Vocals,
Alex - Bass and Vocals,
Ben - Box, triangle, other percussive geometry

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